friendship

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Back to school…

March 5, 2010 in Boo, Photography, Toto, depression, family court, friendship by Fe | 9 comments

I can’t tell you how excited I am about this!

I’ve gone back to school! Well, I’m attending a 5 week “Available Light Portraiture” course at a highly respected Photography College.

It’s exciting for a million reasons, but one of the main ones is that I’m doing this with my dear friend Sarah, and we’re both getting three hours a week to pretend we’re grown-ups and use our brain cells for something more than deciding what to feed the kids for dinner.

The teacher, a much lauded street photographer, is someone whose work I admire enormously. He’s also gorgeous and patient and madly deeply passionate about his craft. I can’t TELL you how exciting it is to be in a situation where all of the rules are being deconstructed and ideas and opinions are stretching my ideas of what is or is not possible.

Now, like all schools, we have homework. Our first assignment is quite challenging, and I’ve spent more than a few hours taking and worrying about my interpretation of what is required. It should be simple, really, but I’ve always been one to worry and try and try to be the best that I can be.

So, I present to you my “Environmental Portrait” of my Dad.

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(of course this may NOT be the pic I end up submitting! It’s so hard to decide!)

All I know is that I am loving this distraction in the leadup to our Family Court mediation.

The boys saw their lawyer yesterday, after a desperate couple of days during which their anxieties have been sky high. We’re in kind of “lull” right now, until our mediation next week. Lot’s of hugging and hand-holding going on.

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My bloggy-lurver Brenda has given me some VERY special and MUCHO appreciated bloggy love!

Thank you Brenda! I have noticed! And I promise, when the mediation is over and my mind can focus on more than one thing at a time, I will fulfill my bloggy-love-recipient duties!

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It’s been a while since I’ve written about my dear ill friend. Well, she’s not so ill any more (you have no idea how terrifying it is to write that…. I’m so scared that I might jinx her) but she’s still on her way back to being completely well. She’s been out of hospital for a couple of months now and although some days are better than others, things are definitely miles better than they were.

xoxo

Nothing like making a friend to put a smile on your dial…

February 27, 2010 in friendship, random by Fe | 7 comments

Brenda is one of the funniest, wittiest, cleverest bloggers on the internets. And today, after months of chatting and a couple of weeks of planning, we met up and had lunch together.

And we laughed and cried. Seriously! And made plans to take over the world together! (Well, maybe not so much of the last bit, but HEAPS of the laughing and a tiny bit of the crying.)

And I feel as though I have made a lovely new friend.

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Talk about making up for lost time…

January 8, 2010 in Boo, Photography, Toto, depression, friendship by Fe | 8 comments

It happened! My boys came home!! And we spent last night hanging out with “her” and her family and let me tell you…. all was right in my world!

Still is.

Today we drove for about 5.5 hours, until we reached the country town of Wagga Wagga.

“We” being Toto, Boo and I.

And tonight we’re all three tucked up in a pretty squished hotel room.

I call it “making up for lost time!” (we certainly seem to be in smelly bodily emissions ). We couldn’t BE closer!

Tomorrow is a wedding… at which, I am thrilled to say, I will be the official photographer. Very exciting and very nerve-wracking.

Luckily I have two willing and professional assistants who have been completely prepped and who will be following me with their own cameras as well as my lens bag. Child labour, I hear you cry? Phwoff! It’s called “giving them some responsibility”. Well, it is tomorrow.

Okay… I’m off now. Have to reassemble Toto’s sleeping frame in order to find a tiny patch of bed for me to sleep on.

Happy Blogiversary to me!…

January 6, 2010 in Boo, Toto, depression, friendship, random by Fe | 10 comments

Has it really only been 2 years? It really feels as though I’ve been sharing this journey with all of you for much longer than that.

Three different sites, three different formats, same crazy confused authoress.

Thanks for coming along for the ride, my friends.

(and thanks, Teena, for reminding me of the significance of today’s date)

This is always a tough time of year for me. Cellular memories seems to bite me on the bum… DH left on Jan 11, and even though it’s 12 years ago, and I wouldn’t have him back if I was being paid $200,000,000 to do so, something inside me remembers the sadness and shock of that event.

My boys have been texting and calling me (in secret) begging me to let them come home. Crying and heartbroken. And there’s nothing that I can do about it other then remind them that we will have the next three weeks together before school returns.

On a FABULOUS note… she is out of hospital and feeling really REALLY great! She’s still having tests and being prodded and poked to try to ensure that her “turn” didn’t leave any nasty or dangerous legacies, but emotionally she is shining through all of it!

And my boys come back tomorrow!!

And those last two things will make my world just as it should be.

Another goodbye …

January 1, 2010 in Boo, DH, Dad, Mum, Photography, Toto, depression, family, friendship by Fe | 10 comments

Having to take my boys back to DH’s for their THIRD week away from me was just too much this morning.

We were all tired from having stayed up to see the midnight fireworks.

And I simply lost it.

I found things to be cranky about, and I couldn’t stop crying. I still can’t.

Which made it SO hard for my poor boys.

I explained to them that it was all about having to take them back, and missing them so much when they’re not here, but that doesn’t make it okay.

According to them, DH goes to work every day, and has people over every night. They feel like his servants as he tells them what to do in front of his guests, and gets furious if they answer back or tell him that they don’t want to do it.

They spent a lot of time telling me how much they hate being with him for this amount of time.

I know that I should be encouraging them to enjoy their time with him, but the best that I can do is to listen and withhold my opinion. It is SO difficult.

Only one more week, and then I have them back with me where they belong.

One more week.

Right now that feels like an interminable amount of time.

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My dear ill friend, her husband and their youngest child, came over to watch the 9pm fireworks with us last night. My brother, s-i-l, nephew and one of my oldest friends, his son and his friend also came over. My parents were in good form and it really was a lovely little celebratory gathering.

As a tribute to my Dad, and the way that he developed his Ilford black and white film in the 1970′s… I give you my favourite people.. taken in the very first hour of 2010…

Only one more week….

Red sky at night…

December 28, 2009 in depression, friendship, random by Fe | 2 comments

… shepherd’s delight…

If you believe the old wives’ tale, tonight’s dramatic sky means that the last few days of rain should clear, and we will have fine weather tomorrow.

To take the adage one step further, “she” is much better and has a release date of next Saturday!!!! She telephoned me tonight to let me know, and I can’t wipe the grin off my face.

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This time of year seems to move at it’s own speed.

I miss the boys. But I’m catching up with dear friends, and organising myself for the new year.

(I’m also spending an inordinate amount of time training myself on the brand new Christmas Wii in preparation for the boys’ return!)

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What are you up to?

xoxox

Happy Happy!!!

December 24, 2009 in depression, friendship, random by Fe | 9 comments

Lot’s of love and thanks to all of you, my bloggy friends, for your unending friendship and support throughout this past year.

However and whatever you celebrate this holiday season, I hope that your cheeks ache from laughing. Constantly.

xoxoxox

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She’s been moved back to the psychiatric hospital. They do not know what caused her “turn”, but it has resulted in some damage to her heart.

They’re gone…

December 20, 2009 in Boo, DH, Photography, Toto, depression, friendship by Fe | 4 comments

The boys have gone to DH’s for the first half of the school holidays.

It isn’t quite as bad as it could be. They’re coming home for Christmas Eve and for New Years’ Eve. So, we’ll see each other soon.

In the meantime I’m house-sitting for a friend, which is proving to be less fun than anticipated. I’ve got so much work to do that I’m coming home everyday to keep on top of it.

Also, I’m meant to be cleaning their pool every day (the poor thing has an ugly green algae infection), but I put my back out moving a huge television into my parents’ apartment, and simply can’t do it.

*sigh*

“She” is terribly ill again. Still in the hospital, and still in danger. It looks as though she’ll be staying there until well into the New Year.

On a positive note, thank you to those of you who have booked a photographic session with me!! I can’t wait to meet you!

I’ve got my first wedding booked for mid-January too. That is VERY exciting!

Thank goodness I’m too busy to miss my boys.

Well, almost.

Old friends…

December 14, 2009 in Boo, Photography, Toto, friendship by Fe | 13 comments

We had a really wonderful weekend.

Filled with friends, and fun, and tonnes of laughter.

We spent Saturday night at my friend J’s farm. Going there is like stepping off the hamster wheel and falling into a soft cloud of worry-free time. The boys and I totally relaxed.

And on Sunday, we drove to Bowral to catch up with my oldest friend, Eliza, and her family. Eliza lives in Melbourne, and we haven’t seen each other for over 15 years. We reconnected recently on Facebook (gotta love that!) and she invited us to her parents’ place for a leisurely day of catching up.

It was so wonderful!

She and I were inseparable from the ages of 4 through to 10, when I moved away, and I was really a part of her family during that time.

It was as though time had stood still. Sure, we were all a lot older… but in all the ways that mattered, we were all exactly the same.

Eliza has two gorgeous daughters, and I was lucky enough to be able to photograph them ….

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StrobeFIVE5x7

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My photography website is up and running, so if you’d like a link, just email me, or use the “Contact Me” section at the top of this site.

Just because…

December 11, 2009 in Boo, DH, Mum, Photography, School, Toto, depression, family court, friendship by Fe | 4 comments

Things are pretty busy around here.

I’m grateful that I’m over the last DH dilemma. Thanks again, Internetz. You really were awesome.

No, it’s all about the end of the school year and the beginning of the first holidays in which DH is going to have the boys for half of the time.

He’s never had them for more than a week at a time in the past. Except when he took them to Canada, and even then, he dumped them with some friends on Vancouver Island and went off travelling on his own.

But now that we’re taking the Interim Court Orders literally, he is insisting on having them for the 20 days that constitute the first half of the holidays.

And the boys are panicking.

I’ve sent DH an email telling him that I’ve willing to have the boys during the week if he is working. He replied with “I’m not planning to work, but if I do, I will keep that in mind.”.

Fingers crossed.

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Toto is improving unbelievably with his trombone playing.

Year 7 had a musical concert of their own last week, and Toto performed in 8 separate groups! He was far and beyond the most outstanding player, and was confident and steady all the way through.

He’s been begging me for a new trombone for nearly a year now. He’s been using a “Yamaha Student Trombone” for the past 5 years, and has well and truly outgrown it.

The problem is, the trombone that he wanted starts at about AU$5,500.

Gulp.

Last week, his trombone teacher emailed me to let me know that he had organised a special deal, just for Toto, at a Woodwind shop that he frequents. The object of Toto’s desire could be his for just AU$1990.

It really was too good to pass up, so I bought it. DH has emailed me that he will pay half, but then again, pigs might fly.

In the meantime, Toto is in AGONY knowing that the trombone is in the building (it’s hidden in my Mum’s closet) and that he can’t play it!!

Roll on Christmas.

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My Mum had a bone scan today which revealed that her pubic bone has not healed.

This is terrible, but not surprising, news.

She’s been ordered back to bed rest.

Yeah. Good luck with that one!

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“She” is much better!! Finally, finally, finally!

She’s still in the hospital, but has a possible release date of next Wednesday.

I can’t tell you how much of a relief this is. She’s been frighteningly, dangerously ill and in hospital for over 8 weeks now.