friendship

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Phew… glad that’s over…

August 20, 2010 in Bloggy Stuff, Boo, Photography, Toto, depression, friendship, opinion, political by Fe | 4 comments

My tax stuff is with the Accountant. I’ve missed the deadline, but will have 100% accurate data to send them next week.

You know, lovely and good things are happening too. I feel I should share some of them with you (as you are all so wonderful and supportive when I tell you about the tough times).

I’ve had quite a few photography jobs lately… so I’m getting there slowly but surely. I am currently 3/4 way through a ten week evening course in Lighting and it is SO exciting to be able to chart my own progression and to see the improvement in my photographs.

I’m second shooting at a very glamorous wedding next weekend. This is an unpaid gig… but well worth it for portfolio pictures… especially as it’s on Bondi Beach and will be absolutely stunning.

I haven’t been commenting or reading other blogs, simply because I haven’t had the time. I promise I’ll get back to it soon… I’m sorry if you’re a blog-writer that’s been commenting here and hearing NOTHING back from me! I hope you understand.

Toto is 6ft tall. I know!!!! He’s a real teenager, but still so affectionate and lovely (when the hormones aren’t causing him to groan and mumble like a big skinny gorilla). Boo, newly twelve, is trying on some new behaviours and attitudes. Ahhh puberty!

My dear ill friend is doing really well. We’re both so busy that we really don’t get together as often as we used to, but we’re still in close contact.

We’ve got a Federal Election here on Saturday. It’s been quite an effort for me to refrain from becoming political here on my blog.

Needless to say, somebody not very deserving will win. And, because I happen to live in the Opposition Leader’s electorate, and I won’t be voting for him, my vote won’t do much good at all. Ah well.

So.. how are YOU?

xoxo

Court on Thursday…

July 20, 2010 in Boo, Photography, Toto, family court, friendship by Fe | 5 comments

… although it may just be a directional hearing. I’m really not sure. My head is well and truly in the sand.

Last Sunday my boys and I, and some very good friends, went to the Sydney Biennale Art Exhibition on Cockatoo Island… an island in the middle of our beautiful harbour.

It was a glorious day and we really enjoyed the exhibition, and spending time with our friends. The only downside was the horrendous wait for the ferry to get on and off the island… and the HUGE amount of people who quite brazenly jumped the queue!! We were waiting for well over an hour to leave the island, and tempers flared when people pushed in. I was just so shocked, and saddened, that people could be so rude.

Anyway.. here’s my favourite pic from the day….

Toto and his best friend are only 3 days apart in age. Toto has just hit 5’11″ (181cms) though… and his friend has a way to go to catch up!!

On my own blog…

June 14, 2010 in Bloggy Stuff, friendship by Fe | 12 comments

I guess I’d forgotten, in my self-imposed head-in-sand-ness, that I have a world of love and support here on my own blog.

Thank you all for understanding and kindness. And for supporting me in my avoidance techniques.

And for just still being here.

xoxox

Hullo it’s me, I’m back!!…

May 16, 2010 in Boo, Child Support, DH, Dad, Photography, Toto, friendship by Fe | 20 comments

oh my gawd….

Under legal advice, I sent DH an email asking him if he had any preferences about Boo’s high school education…

No reply.

Two days later I sent another email.

No reply.

Boo is still stuck… He simply can’t make up his mind.

And, 4 days after I sent his father an email asking him whether he gives a **** about his youngest son’s secondary education, no reply.

But that I could have predicted.

You know what’s really pissing me off right now?

I’m pissed off with friends and family who do not stop to consider that I raise my boys on ZERO INCOME.

Friends and family who KNOW that I receive no Child Support from DH. And that I have a HUGE debt with my father for rent and legal fees.

And yet they seriously do not treat my photography business as anything more than a hobby. And they expect me to give everything away to them. And they also treat me as though I have money to burn.

Seriously…. I feel that I have to spell this out….

I have no husband at home bringing in an income to pay my rent.

I receive no Child Support to pay my rent or to pay for school fees or excursions extras or to buy my children food or clothes or to put petrol in my car.

Nothing.

And every time I borrow money to support my family I am adding to a debt which I have no way of paying other than earning money MYSELF. I have no superannuation. I have no savings. I have nothing.

AND… I am working 80+ hours a week building a photography business.

Please consider that.

Sorry to push this on my friends and readers who don’t treat me like a millionaire.

But I did need to put this out there.

The era of me being a pushover is over.

I am putting my boys and myself first.

You (irl friends and family who take advantage of me) can all take a solid second.

And it’s about bloody time (if I do say so myself).

Weekend fail…

May 8, 2010 in Boo, DH, Fe, Photography, Toto, friendship by Fe | 7 comments

I had SO many plans for this weekend.

I had a friend from Melbourne visiting last night, had booked 2 days of a photography seminar AND had a 40th birthday to go to tonight.

Which are SERIOUS plans in my neck of the woods.

Last night was so cool. This lovely friend is Boo’s godfather, and has been living in China and the US for the last 4 years. I hadn’t seen him since my trip to Beijing over 2 years ago. It was heaven to just sit and talk solidly for a few hours. Only hampered by his 9.40pm flight back to Melbourne.

But, sod’s law being the rule of my life, I woke up this morning with a migraine. A really not fun one (not that I’ve ever heard of a “fun” migraine) that kept me home from my seminar (which REALLY erked me as it was not free) and struggling with computer screens and telephones.

I finally gave into it, hoping that I would be able to recover in time for the 40th (I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve been invited to a swish do), but it was not to be.

I’m only just able to put up with the computer screen now.

And if I’m still feeling this way in the morning, I will not be attending day 2 of the photography seminar.

The only bright spot? The court order states that I must have the boys from 9 – 5 on Mothers Day. DH, as we all know, ignores the court orders that he spends the big bucks getting, so the “plan” is that they come home at 5pm and stay the night with me.

So, really, as long as the migraine is gone by then….

PS. RIP “Papa Max”. You were a bright spot in my boys’ childhood, and a wise and kind paternal figure to me. You will be so missed.

A sea of pink…

May 8, 2010 in Bloggy Stuff, Photography, friendship by Fe | 6 comments

I had the joy of meeting up with a few of my fave bloggers the other day. Well, actually, all of these friends are irl friends as well.

And two of them brought their beautiful daughters along.

There was way too much pink for me (mother of boys that I am) and so here are my “not pink” pics of the day…

Anyone still here? taptap*…

April 28, 2010 in Boo, DH, Dad, Mum, Photography, School, Toto, depression, friendship, work by Fe | 19 comments

Phew. I think all my new political “friends” have moved on to more rancid pastures.

In fact, from the state of my stats, most of my REAL friends might have moved on too! Stats are such funny things. I’m never quite sure what to make of them.

If I have 300+ people reading my blog everyday, I almost go into panic mode. I’m so sure that I can’t entertain or amuse that many people.

Crazily, I’m happier when my blog stats are between 100 and 200. Which goes against the grain in this day and age of SEO manipulation.

I’m spending hours and hours trying to improve the SEO rating of my photography blog. It’s insanely frustrating, but, apparently, it’s absolutely necessary in order to appear reasonably near the top of a search of photographers in my area.

*sigh*

I’m not enjoying it.

I’m LOVING the “making pictures” aspect of my job. But, like life, you have to take the good with the bad.

There’s been lots of good and bad in my life lately.

The bad… huge fights with DH over Boo’s soccer registration and uniform. Really awful ones.

The also bad… a falling out with my dear ill friend.

I’m devastated by this. She became very maternal and judgemental and harsh towards me, and I turned to jelly.

I was so shocked.

So, she thinks that everything is okay because she’s said all that she wanted to say, and I’m feeling judged and ill-treated and frustrated because I was too shocked and emotional to say my piece at the time.

It’s not fun.

But in amongst this stuff has been some fantastic news…

Boo was accepted into the Academic Extension program for next year (high school) at an incredibly good school near us. He sat an exam for this a month or so ago, and we weren’t holding our breath as places are few and far between. I think something like 1 in 10 get accepted into the program.

Well, I most definitely underestimated my youngest son’s academic ability (I didn’t really… I know he’s frighteningly brainiacal (!), but I did not want to risk disappointment). He’s thrilled, especially because he has not wanted to go to Toto’s high school. He’s not thrilled, however, because his father is insisting that he attend Toto’s school.

I think lawyers may become involved. Shoot.

I have lots of pics to show you… but I’m going to leave you with this one…

My parents… after 50 years of marriage. (Oops… Make that 52 years of marriage!)

*awwww*

xoxox

I’m Mad As Hell…

April 12, 2010 in Bloggy Stuff, Child Support, family court, friendship, opinion, political by Fe | 4 comments

A few years ago I made friends with a Mum who has a severely disabled eldest daughter. It was through her, a brave and wonderful woman, that I first learned of Australia’s horrendous, unspeakably appalling, disability support system.

I was, initially, disbelieving that our socially advanced nation could have a disability support system which is worse than that in many third world countries. I struggled to grasp that our politicians could consistently ignore the pleas of the over-a-million carers in this country who are burdened with a “cradle-to-grave” job of caring for their disabled children/parents/relatives.

And when, finally, I understood how truly dire the situation really was, I was filled with shame that I could live in a country which treats its’ weakest citizens with so much disdain.

I have since learned, from personal experience, that our entire welfare system is being peeled away, gradually being eroded until we will be left with a society which is based purely upon entitlement and which does not measure itself upon the way that it cares for it’s most powerless members…. and a system which has little to no room for individual circumstance and little to no patience for an inability to be self-sufficient, for whatever reason.

I have also learned, from personal experience, that our Child Support Agency and Family Court system is impersonal and harsh and, anecdotally nearly all the time, creates more injustice and unhappiness and disparity than it should.

And I am ashamed that my wealthy, lucky country could be so mixed-up.

One of my dear friends, Kim over at Allconsuming, has written a moving post which has pointed me to a website which is designed to highlight the injustice and cruelty of our disability support services, and the reality of the lives of the carers which it so cruelly disempowers.

And Kim should know.

She is the mother of a disabled child, and she has struggled with the inequity and injustice of the system for a long time now.

Please read Kim’s post, and then visit this website.

And please, PLEASE sign the Mad As Hell Pledge: