Boo

The migraine didn’t go away, and so my Mothers’ Day was spent at home, in pain.

DH “told me” that I could collect the boys from him at 5.30pm… despite the court order stating that I was meant to have them from 9 – 6 on Mothers’ Day.

And when I did collect the boys, they were absolutely traumatised.

DH had apparently become very angry with Boo, and his anger lasted all weekend.  He accused him of “trying to make him look dumb”… (not a difficult feat, I should add)… by talking to him in a condescending tone.  This led to a 2-day long rant about how Boo is just like me, and that DH doesn’t have favourites, but that Toto is obedient and polite while Boo is defiant and rude, and therefore he finds Toto easier to deal with.

Interestingly enough, this is the exact opposite of how the boys behave in my house.  Toto is a full-on TEENAGER.  His tone is rude by default and the selective deafness is incredibly annoying.  Boo is still in the last gasp of boy-hood.  Both are still affectionate and predominantly polite.  And, needless to say, none of this effects my unconditional love for them.

The biggest thing that upset Boo was about his soccer registration.

I wrote here about how DH had gone back on his word and did not pay Boo’s soccer fees.  The drama that ensued from that was ugly and embarrassing.  DH took it to the soccer club and told them that he would not pay the fees.

Of course, I ended up paying them.  And of course, DH has not paid Child Support either.

DH said to Boo… “Your Mother is angry because I changed my mind about paying the soccer fees.  Everyone is allowed to change their mind.  Your mother is a controlling b*tch.”

I had to count backwards from 10 before I even opened my mouth to respond.

And of course I had to tell my children that “changing your mind” after saying that you will do something is not right.  If you do “change your mind” you need to discuss it with the person whom you have made the commitment to. And if it’s a financial commitment, and you owe somebody money, changing your mind about paying is actually illegal.

This is the same man who defended his not admitting to his infidelity when I asked him by saying “I did the right thing.  You would have been upset, and so I was protecting you by not telling you the truth”.

Sick.  Twisted. Totally ego-centric.

Oh.. and apparently he’s been acting in TV commercials.  Great.  He’s got 3 national ads coming up, and was an extra in a tv show this evening (which we did NOT watch).

So now I have to see him on the telly.  SO NOT FAIR.

Still, the Child Support Agency will have to believe me if I record the ads and give it to them as evidence of his income.  He told Toto that he has earned $18,000 from his acting so far.

He also told both boys that I am damaging them, as they have gotten to an age where they need to be raised by a man.  “Your mother is not a man, and your grandfather is too old” he said.  “You can’t see that you need me to be your primary carer, but when you are older and don’t know how to behave properly as men, you will see that your mother damaged you by keeping you from me.”

*oh god I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or vomit*

He still hasn’t congratulated Boo for getting into the Academic Extension programme at a local high school.  “Oh” was the best that he could do.

And when Boo told his that we had also had an interview at Toto’s school, and that Boo has been offered a place there too… another “oh”.

He would never DREAM of asking Boo what he wanted to do.  He truly thinks that Boo is too young to have an opinion about his secondary education.

Boo is trying to make the decision himself, with some help from me.  We’re writing lots of “pros and cons” lists.

Whichever way we go there will be problems.  If he goes to the local school, DH will call the lawyers and say that I made the decision without consulting him.  If he chooses Toto’s school, DH will refuse the pay the school fees.

DH has ignored every email or text from me since the beginning of the soccer registration debacle.  Oh except one very charming email calling me sexist and x-rated names.

Consult on our second child’s secondary education?

If I thought he was capable of putting Boo’s future and best interests first, then maybe.  As it is, there is no point.

Boo is able to discuss it with him if he wants.  He doesn’t want to.

Instead, he discusses it with me.

The woman who is “damaging” him because she is not a man.

Brilliant.