My newest commenter, Sara, asked me the following question:
“I always long for a “cast of characters” when reading a new blog and i checked your about section and wasn’t given much information 
i am lost reading some of your posts, wondering who is who and maybe once i read back a bit more, i’ll figure it all out. but that’s what my question is, i guess! who are the most important people in your life and what is your relationship to them?”
I thrilled with this question, as I have never stopped to think how confusing this blog can be to new readers.
So, here is my “Cast of Characters”…
Toto:
… my 12 year old first born son. His passion is flying, and he has joined the Australian Air League and plans to have his pilots’ license before his drivers’ license. He struggled through primary school… surrounded by teachers with low-expectations of him and an idea of himself as “not bright”. Now that he’s in High School, he is surrounded by teachers who admire and appreciate him, and his grades have soared to the point where he is consistently at or very near the top of his class. He now knows that the world is his oyster, and he is a delightfully confident child in all things academic. Sadly, he is anxious in all matters relating to his father.
Toto was 9 months old when his father left us.
Boo:
Boo is my 11 year old son. He is bright and funny and brings humour to our daily lives. Schoolwork has always been easy for Boo, and his main focus is his social life. He’s such a happy-go-lucky boy, except on issues relating to his father. Both Toto and Boo agree that DH favours Toto, and Boo often comes home from overnight visits with a broken heart.
Boo was not born when his father left us.
DH:
DH (Dick Head, not Dear Husband) is my ex-husband.
Some of our story is here on my old blog.
The rest of it is chronicled on this blog.
He’s litigious and mean and I wish that he would move far far away so that my boys could grow up with peace and security.
As it is, he is currently taking us through the Family Court in an attempt to have the boys live with him 50% of the time. Neither boy wants this, and DH has even been advised by the family court counselor that it would be damaging for the children for him to pursue this legal action. The fact that he has not shown an interest in being anything other than an “every second weekend” dad over the past 11 years is very telling. It is very likely that he is pursuing this action in order to minimise future Child Support obligations.
Earlier this year (2009), he took me through Family Court in order to erase 11 years of unpaid Child Support.
He won.
“Her/She” or “my dear ill friend“:
We met in the post-natal ward of a psychiatric hospital in 1998. We were admitted on the same day, and discharged on the same day, three months later. Forming close friendships in that environment is actually frowned upon, as dependencies can hamper recovery. Regardless of this, she and I formed an instant bond, which has strengthened throughout the intervening years.
When we left the hospital, I moved into a house just around the corner from hers, and we helped each other with our kids and with our recoveries. I stayed there for 5 years.
Her husband has also become one of my closest friends, and provides a wonderfully healthy male role model for my boys. Boo is best friends with her son also. A lovely side benefit of our friendship.
She has struggled on and off with her depression over the intervening years, as have I. But in September of 2008, she fell into a deep, dark, terrifying black hole, and she has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital ever since.
It’s been a case of two steps forward and three steps backward. I have complete faith that she will recover from this horrendous depressive episode, but it’s taking an awfully long time.
Mum and Dad:
My boys and I live in an apartment owned by, and next door to, my parents. We are the only apartments on our level, and the front doors are usually open and we wander freely between both apartments.
My poor Mum has had a terrible time of it lately. She has recently lost nearly all of her vision, and is also recovering from a horrendous fall which left her with broken ribs, broken sacrum, broken vertibrae and broken pelvis.
She’s an amazing woman who is managing to smile, most of the time, despite all of this. My boys are very close to her and my Dad, and we love the close proximity.
My Dad is suffering from arterial damage to his legs, and his mobility has diminished quite a lot over the last couple of years. That doesn’t stop him from being a whizz on the computer, and from doing the cryptic crosswords everyday! He has been a particular strength to me throughout the recent court proceedings.
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I hope that this makes sense, and helps my new readers better understand my daily rantings.
Please ask me questions if there is anything else that I can clarify, or if I’ve left anything out.
xoxo
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