Articles by Fe

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Breathing Underwater…

March 10, 2010 in Boo, DH, Toto, family court by Fe | 1 comment

It’s tomorrow. And I think I’m going crazy. I’m not worrying consciously, but my brain has not been functioning properly. I’m in a fog. Or breathing underwater.

But it doesn’t really matter what the outcome is, or so I am telling myself. The boys are 11 and 13, and nobody is going to force them to be where they don’t want to be. Problem is, I have raised boys who don’t like breaking rules.

DH sent me an email last night. Telling me that he will be “away” for 3.5 weeks from THIS Monday.

According to the boys, he is going to Sri Lanka to play cricket.

Huh?

And apparently he booked it months ago. But didn’t consider letting me know. Why on earth am I still surprised at his nasty and selfish behaviour?

The boys have written a couple of pages of “what they want”… for me to take tomorrow. They have been too scared to tell him to his face.

It will all be over (hopefully) in 18 or so hours.

Fingers crossed.

xox

Back to school…

March 5, 2010 in Boo, Photography, Toto, depression, family court, friendship by Fe | 9 comments

I can’t tell you how excited I am about this!

I’ve gone back to school!  Well, I’m attending a 5 week “Available Light Portraiture” course at a highly respected Photography College.

It’s exciting for a million reasons, but one of the main ones is that I’m doing this with my dear friend Sarah, and we’re both getting three hours a week to pretend we’re grown-ups and use our brain cells for something more than deciding what to feed the kids for dinner.

The teacher, a much lauded street photographer, is someone whose work I admire enormously.  He’s also gorgeous and patient and madly deeply passionate about his craft.  I can’t TELL you how exciting it is to be in a situation where all of the rules are being deconstructed and ideas and opinions are stretching my ideas of what is or is not possible.

Now, like all schools, we have homework.  Our first assignment is quite challenging, and I’ve spent more than a few hours taking and worrying about my interpretation of what is required.  It should be simple, really, but I’ve always been one to worry and try and try to be the best that I can be.

So, I present to you my “Environmental Portrait” of my Dad.

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(of course this may NOT be the pic I end up submitting!  It’s so hard to decide!)

All I know is that I am loving this distraction in the leadup to our Family Court mediation.

The boys saw their lawyer yesterday, after a desperate couple of days during which their anxieties have been sky high.  We’re in kind of “lull” right now, until our mediation next week.  Lot’s of hugging and hand-holding going on.

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My bloggy-lurver Brenda has given me some VERY special  and MUCHO appreciated bloggy love!

Thank you Brenda!  I have noticed!  And I promise, when the mediation is over and my mind can focus on more than one thing at a time, I will fulfill my bloggy-love-recipient duties!

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It’s been a while since I’ve written about my dear ill friend.  Well, she’s not so ill any more (you have no idea how terrifying it is to write that…. I’m so scared that I might jinx her) but she’s still on her way back to being completely well.  She’s been out of hospital for a couple of months now and although some days are better than others, things are definitely miles better than they were.

xoxo

Nothing like making a friend to put a smile on your dial…

February 27, 2010 in friendship, random by Fe | 6 comments

Brenda is one of the funniest, wittiest, cleverest bloggers on the internets.  And today, after months of chatting and a couple of weeks of planning, we met up and had lunch together.

And we laughed and cried.  Seriously!  And made plans to take over the world together!  (Well, maybe not so much of the last bit, but HEAPS of the laughing and a tiny bit of the crying.)

And I feel as though I have made a lovely new friend.

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The Brilliance of the Internets…

February 26, 2010 in Boo, DH, Toto, family court, random by Fe | 8 comments

As I’m sure pretty much the whole bloggy-world knows already, the incredible Martin (XBox4NappyRash) and his wife ET had a beautiful baby girl named Sanne last week.  They’ve been struggling to conceive for a LONG time, and the WHOLE of their faithful internets followers have been leaping with joy at this exciting news!

Dan, over at All That Comes With It, compiled this celebratory video to help us all do just that.  Be sure to check out the dorks 3mins and 56secs into it!

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I know things have been pretty silent here lately. I’m not sure what’s stopping me from documenting this latest lead-up to a family court mediation, but something sure is.

Toto is not coping very well with it all.  Well, to be honest, none of us is, but he’s the one who seems most demonstrably upset.  Then again, that could well be puberty talking.

DH has told the boys… yes TOLD the boys… that he will be having them during the week very soon.  Both boys are incredibly distressed by this, as they want to actually take away the Sunday nights that they spend with him.  It’s mainly to do with having to be organised for school on Monday, but also has a lot to do with DH’s temper when stressed out by mundane parenting acts such as ensuring that homework is finished and uniforms are on and breakfast is had and lunch is ready.

The boys meet with their own lawyer again next week, and both are going to tell her exactly what they want, and what they don’t want.

Hopefully this time she’ll take more notice of that.

I’m incredibly anxious about it all.  Debilitatingly anxious if I’m to be honest.  You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but my experiences so far have been so negative that I’m having trouble maintaining my optimism.

Still, I know that we’ll survive, whatever the outcome.

I’m just pretty sure that we won’t be able to agree on anything at this mediation, and will therefore be heading back to Family Court for another expensive and devastating hearing.  (insert sound of sanity and money flying out the window here)

My teenager…

February 13, 2010 in Photography, Toto by Fe | 12 comments

This is what turning 13 looks like in my house….

(all pics taken on my wonderful iPhone, with the groovy ShakeItPhoto app)

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And this is what it looks like when your Mum takes you to “Top Gear Live” for your birthday (for the second year running)….

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Happy Birthday my darling Toto!!

The sun is well and truly out…

February 10, 2010 in London, Mum, Photography, Toto, depression, family court by Fe | 13 comments

Whew.  I’m through the dark patch.

Hallelujah!

Man it’s not fun when you’re in the middle of it.  And not much fun on the wobbly edges of it.

Thanks for  your kind words and support.  You rock. ;)

My Mum and I did something together today that we have not done since 1990 in London.

We went shopping together.

Those of you who know me in real life know that I hate shopping.  With a passion.  REALLY dislike it.

But Mum and I went to the local shops to find the perfect present for my tall and beautiful first-born son who is turning 13 tomorrow.

And after we found the perfect pressie, we browsed a shoe shop, an optometrists and a crystal/meditation/hippy-woo shop where we bought 2 beautiful Indian shirts.

And we both laughed about the fact that the last time we did that together was when she was visiting me when I lived in London.

We crawled the Kings Road looking for the perfect blazer for my Mum.

And we found it.

And she still has it!

And now I’m remembering that visit, and feeling really warm and fuzzy and enveloped in my Mummy’s love.

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So I’m using distraction therapy to get myself out of the dark patch.  And it’s been working.

I’m working on marketing my photography business.

I’m designing my business cards, my flyers, and planning my marketing strategy because I’m determined to make this business fly.

I wish I could promote my business on this site, but I still need to maintain my anonymity in order to freely discuss the family court stuff.

Still, if anyone wants a photographer in the Sydney area… :) .

xoxoxo

One more pic…

February 8, 2010 in Photography by Fe | 5 comments

My favourite from the last shoot… (don’t know why I forgot to post it before!!)

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Dear Blog…

February 5, 2010 in Boo, Photography, Toto, depression, family court by Fe | 17 comments

I miss you.

I think of things to share with you, and then when I find a minute to write them down… they’re gone.

In fact, everything seems to be moving away from me right now.

My happiness.

My enthusiasm.

My creativity.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

And in their place, meetings with my lawyers.  Documents to be filed and appointments to be made.

Yep, we’re in the lead-up to another Family Dispute Resolution meeting.  This time it’s to finalise the custody arrangements.

If we can’t agree in the meeting, it’s on to another day in Family Court.

My mind seems to be tripping over itself lately.  Does that even make sense?

The holiday mood vanished very quickly.  It’s just like this time last year…. back to earth with a bang.

And the boys!

My.

The boys seem to do nothing but argue with each other.

It’s driving me insane.

Literally.

*sigh*

But I’ve had some lovely photography clients.

Here’s a snippet of the latest lovely family that let me shoot them…

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So, dear blog, I’ll try to nurture our relationship again.  I will.

But in the meantime, know that you’re never far from my thoughts.

The original iPad …

January 30, 2010 in random by Fe | 7 comments

Home again, home again…

January 28, 2010 in Boo, School, Toto, random by Fe | 13 comments

… jiggity jig.

…………………… and despite a couple of sunburned shoulders (mine), all is well.

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Toto and Boo both went back to school this morning.

Boo could barely contain his excitement at seeing his friends again.

Toto could barely contain his anxiety at the prospect of a change of teachers, classrooms and being away from me.

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Missed you all.  The 800+ posts in my Google Reader are quite daunting.  Please understand if my commenting is a bit on the slow side.

It’s good to be back.

xoxo

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