I should have known better…

… than to blog about the homecoming before it happened.

Last night was horrible.

They were fine when they first came home, but slowly-slowly things began to unravel.

Boo ended up telling me through his tears that DH had called him a dickhead.

Yep, you read that correctly.

Yesterday morning, DH asked him if he had made his lunch yet, and when he answered “No”, DH said “You are such a dickhead Boo.”

But the thing that broke Boo’s heart the most was that Toto didn’t stand up for him.

He had a list of things that had upset him over the weekend.  Times when he felt picked upon, or left out.

And, if I’m to believe everything that Boo told me, Toto is mimicking his Dad’s behaviour and is giving Boo a really hard time when he is over there.

This is so hard.

Toto admits some of it, and I could see that it was KILLING him that I was finding out about everything that had gone on.

I tried to explain to Boo that Toto is as scared of his Dad’s reactions as Boo is.  But I stressed that Toto’s behaviour was NOT okay.

I talked to Toto, and tried to get him to understand and empathise with Boo… but… understandably… he sees him through his Dad’s eyes when they are at his Dad’s house.

This is heartbreaking.

I want to wrap Boo up and keep him with me.

I want someone to explain to DH exactly the kind of long term damage to Boo, and to Boo and Toto’s relationship, that his behaviour is likely to cause.

But mainly I just want to protect my sons.

I don’t want to think about all the possible outcomes of our upcoming Family Court hearing.

So I won’t.