Comments on: The joy of the return… http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/ Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:07:22 +1100 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: shygirl http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2521 shygirl Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:31:42 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2521 And not just with Dad's. While hubby and I were separated due to job situations last year, my kids went to their grandparents every second weekend, and always came home with the same reaction. Kids everywhere are the same. Oh, I just watched the video re:becoming a teenager - it was hilarious. my oldest turns 13 soon, we already see the signs. And not just with Dad’s. While hubby and I were separated due to job situations last year, my kids went to their grandparents every second weekend, and always came home with the same reaction. Kids everywhere are the same. Oh, I just watched the video re:becoming a teenager – it was hilarious. my oldest turns 13 soon, we already see the signs.

]]> By: MissyBoo http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2520 MissyBoo Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:20:06 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2520 What a great way to look at that behaviour - and your completely right! It's all being back in their environment , with the parent they feel safe and loved with. Gosh you provide me with such a great insight :) xoxox What a great way to look at that behaviour – and your completely right! It’s all being back in their environment , with the parent they feel safe and loved with.

Gosh you provide me with such a great insight :)
xoxox

]]> By: sooz http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2513 sooz Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:32:14 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2513 You bet. And yes, not just single parent families! It happens with any big separations, or major stresses that require 'keeping it together' when that is hard. Home (mum) is where the cork comes out of the bottle and all the hard unprocessed stuff comes out. Boundaries and love are tested, but also just because it is a safe place to process all that shit, to be imperfect, to not have to try and win approval and get it right 24/7. And at times that sucks for a lot of mums, but you are so right that it is not personal - well it is personal in as much as they are so confident of your unconditional love that they can be that way with you - but the bad stuff is the opposite of personal. They are bringing to you all the shit from *out there* so you can help them deal with it. You bet.

And yes, not just single parent families! It happens with any big separations, or major stresses that require ‘keeping it together’ when that is hard. Home (mum) is where the cork comes out of the bottle and all the hard unprocessed stuff comes out. Boundaries and love are tested, but also just because it is a safe place to process all that shit, to be imperfect, to not have to try and win approval and get it right 24/7.

And at times that sucks for a lot of mums, but you are so right that it is not personal – well it is personal in as much as they are so confident of your unconditional love that they can be that way with you – but the bad stuff is the opposite of personal. They are bringing to you all the shit from *out there* so you can help them deal with it.

]]> By: Sunny Road Mum http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2512 Sunny Road Mum Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:26:31 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2512 Even though I know my girls have a great time with their Dad and are not scared of him or unhappy, they still take it out on me when they get home. It's getting better but there's usually a period of time when they're fractious and unreasonable and teary and tired so I try to keep those Sunday nights as relaxed and "normal" as possible with lots of togetherness time. Even though I know my girls have a great time with their Dad and are not scared of him or unhappy, they still take it out on me when they get home. It’s getting better but there’s usually a period of time when they’re fractious and unreasonable and teary and tired so I try to keep those Sunday nights as relaxed and “normal” as possible with lots of togetherness time.

]]> By: Ali http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2511 Ali Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:40:37 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2511 Not just in single parent homes. It is much better for us these days but our kids have always needed some time to readjust when they get home from their Dad's. When Rhu was younger it would be days and days of bad behaviour and him "testing" us. The kid's Dad is inconsistent, at times cruel and very insensitive so I'm not surprised they are disrupted by it. Like you I know that it'll pass and they'll be back to normal soon but it is disappointing sometimes when you've been missing them and they come home and are awful. Poor kids really. xx Not just in single parent homes. It is much better for us these days but our kids have always needed some time to readjust when they get home from their Dad’s. When Rhu was younger it would be days and days of bad behaviour and him “testing” us. The kid’s Dad is inconsistent, at times cruel and very insensitive so I’m not surprised they are disrupted by it. Like you I know that it’ll pass and they’ll be back to normal soon but it is disappointing sometimes when you’ve been missing them and they come home and are awful. Poor kids really.
xx

]]> By: Jo http://fe.org.au/2009/11/23/the-joy-of-the-return/comment-page-1/#comment-2510 Jo Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:32:43 +0000 http://fe.org.au/?p=567#comment-2510 Oh yes still, after more than 10 years and now even though we are 14.5 and 16, we still follow mum around for a couple of days! Constantly running into one or the other!. Then it settles again. Until next time.... Oh yes still, after more than 10 years and now even though we are 14.5 and 16, we still follow mum around for a couple of days! Constantly running into one or the other!. Then it settles again. Until next time….

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