My favourite from the last shoot… (don’t know why I forgot to post it before!!)
I miss you.
I think of things to share with you, and then when I find a minute to write them down… they’re gone.
In fact, everything seems to be moving away from me right now.
My happiness.
My enthusiasm.
My creativity.
Gone. Gone. Gone.
And in their place, meetings with my lawyers. Documents to be filed and appointments to be made.
Yep, we’re in the lead-up to another Family Dispute Resolution meeting. This time it’s to finalise the custody arrangements.
If we can’t agree in the meeting, it’s on to another day in Family Court.
My mind seems to be tripping over itself lately. Does that even make sense?
The holiday mood vanished very quickly. It’s just like this time last year…. back to earth with a bang.
And the boys!
My.
The boys seem to do nothing but argue with each other.
It’s driving me insane.
Literally.
*sigh*
But I’ve had some lovely photography clients.
Here’s a snippet of the latest lovely family that let me shoot them…
So, dear blog, I’ll try to nurture our relationship again. I will.
But in the meantime, know that you’re never far from my thoughts.
… jiggity jig.
…………………… and despite a couple of sunburned shoulders (mine), all is well.
********
Toto and Boo both went back to school this morning.
Boo could barely contain his excitement at seeing his friends again.
Toto could barely contain his anxiety at the prospect of a change of teachers, classrooms and being away from me.
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Missed you all. The 800+ posts in my Google Reader are quite daunting. Please understand if my commenting is a bit on the slow side.
It’s good to be back.
xoxo
We’re languishing in our haven of sun, sand and sea.
The weather is ideal and each day seems more idyllic than the one before.
Our dear friend Ewan is here, and took Toto on a long, relaxing and ultimately unsuccessful fishing expedition this afternoon. Apparently they saw a lot of trees.
Toto and Boo are clearing the plates from dinner as I type this on my beloved iPhone.
I don’t want to ever have to return to reality.
Every year at the end of January, my boys and I pack up and head to the South Coast of NSW for 10 days of R&R.
No internet… no telephone reception… no deadlines… no obligations.
Just sun, surf, sand, boardgames, bikes and kangaroos.
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See you on the other side…
xoxoxo
Anyone remember that film?
It was filmed in 1981, was Henry Fonda’s last film, and also starred Katharine Hepburn and Jane Fonda.
I watched it with my boys tonight.
It’s a beautiful film. It’s about the relationship between a father and his adult daughter. There’s lots of other stuff going on too, but that’s the main theme.
And when I watched it in my twenties and thirties, it echoed my own relationship with my father.
But when I watched it this evening, in my forties, as well as bawling my eyes out for the past, I realised that, finally, I am my father’s friend. My relationship with him has turned around. I don’t long for something that is missing. I treasure all that is there and accept both of us for exactly who we are.
Very profound.
There is also a “just thirteen” year old boy in the film. A boys whose divorced father has him for the summer, but who dumps him with people that he has only known for a few hours for a whole month while he goes off to Europe.
The boy struggles with his feelings of abandonment. Something that my boys could relate to.
It’s a slow film. Filled with emotion rather than action.
Toto was riveted. But, as the credits rolled, Boo said “I don’t see the point of that film. Nothing much happened.”.
So, I have taken away all electronic games for all but one hour a day for the remainder of the holidays and have given them the task of reading the entire “Swallows and Amazons” and “Moomin” series of books. These were my favourite books as a child, and I still have my very own childhood copies for my own boys to explore.
They need to understand that slow and imaginative can be fun. I think.
What do you think? Are my expectations too high?
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The wedding was all that was to be expected. A big, fun, rollicking country celebration that began in the morning and carried on long into the evening.
Hopefully there will be some lovely pics. Conditions were not prime. It was almost 40˙celsius in the shade, and my speedlight kept overheating. Fingers crossed that most of the important pics are okay. I will share when I have edited.
I am still shattered from the journey. It was about 5 1/2 hours drive each way.
Also, my thighs are in AGONY from the crouching and kneeling and leaning and climbing that was required to try to get the good wedding “shots” without being in everyone’s way. Not an easy task!!
My boys deserve a huge reward for their behaviour over the entire weekend. They were amazing. The three of us were crammed together in such close quarters for the entire time, and they were beyond well behaved. They were also surrounded by “strange” and unfamiliar adults who wanted to know their story and they spoke clearly, looked everyone in the eye, answered questions politely and pretty much blew me away with their mature behaviour.
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We have only a few days left before our annual beach holiday.
Today we saw “Did you hear about the Morgans?”. What a waste of money!! The storyline had good potential, but fell flat at every turn, imho.
Tomorrow we’re gathering all of their school gear for the new year. And then we’ll find other fun, less expensive, ways to fill in our time.
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How are you filling in the last gasp of the long Aussie summer school holidays?
Or, for my northern hemisphere readers… How are you coping with the sudden cold spell?
xoxoxo
It happened! My boys came home!! And we spent last night hanging out with “her” and her family and let me tell you…. all was right in my world!
Still is.
Today we drove for about 5.5 hours, until we reached the country town of Wagga Wagga.
“We” being Toto, Boo and I.
And tonight we’re all three tucked up in a pretty squished hotel room.
I call it “making up for lost time!” (we certainly seem to be in smelly bodily emissions 
). We couldn’t BE closer!
Tomorrow is a wedding… at which, I am thrilled to say, I will be the official photographer. Very exciting and very nerve-wracking.
Luckily I have two willing and professional assistants who have been completely prepped and who will be following me with their own cameras as well as my lens bag. Child labour, I hear you cry? Phwoff! It’s called “giving them some responsibility”. Well, it is tomorrow.
Okay… I’m off now. Have to reassemble Toto’s sleeping frame in order to find a tiny patch of bed for me to sleep on.
Has it really only been 2 years? It really feels as though I’ve been sharing this journey with all of you for much longer than that.
Three different sites, three different formats, same crazy confused authoress.
Thanks for coming along for the ride, my friends.
(and thanks, Teena, for reminding me of the significance of today’s date)
This is always a tough time of year for me. Cellular memories seems to bite me on the bum… DH left on Jan 11, and even though it’s 12 years ago, and I wouldn’t have him back if I was being paid $200,000,000 to do so, something inside me remembers the sadness and shock of that event.
My boys have been texting and calling me (in secret) begging me to let them come home. Crying and heartbroken. And there’s nothing that I can do about it other then remind them that we will have the next three weeks together before school returns.
On a FABULOUS note… she is out of hospital and feeling really REALLY great! She’s still having tests and being prodded and poked to try to ensure that her “turn” didn’t leave any nasty or dangerous legacies, but emotionally she is shining through all of it!
And my boys come back tomorrow!!
And those last two things will make my world just as it should be.
Having to take my boys back to DH’s for their THIRD week away from me was just too much this morning.
We were all tired from having stayed up to see the midnight fireworks.
And I simply lost it.
I found things to be cranky about, and I couldn’t stop crying. I still can’t.
Which made it SO hard for my poor boys.
I explained to them that it was all about having to take them back, and missing them so much when they’re not here, but that doesn’t make it okay.
According to them, DH goes to work every day, and has people over every night. They feel like his servants as he tells them what to do in front of his guests, and gets furious if they answer back or tell him that they don’t want to do it.
They spent a lot of time telling me how much they hate being with him for this amount of time.
I know that I should be encouraging them to enjoy their time with him, but the best that I can do is to listen and withhold my opinion. It is SO difficult.
Only one more week, and then I have them back with me where they belong.
One more week.
Right now that feels like an interminable amount of time.
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My dear ill friend, her husband and their youngest child, came over to watch the 9pm fireworks with us last night. My brother, s-i-l, nephew and one of my oldest friends, his son and his friend also came over. My parents were in good form and it really was a lovely little celebratory gathering.
As a tribute to my Dad, and the way that he developed his Ilford black and white film in the 1970’s… I give you my favourite people.. taken in the very first hour of 2010…
Only one more week….
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